I do my part by sharing the minutiae of pain management, mobility issues, rodent chomping, and a rundown of headaches (rather frequent), and things that really bother me, like my teeth and a tumor thing that has taken residence inside one of my nostrils.
SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED UPDATE
If Nurse M isn’t here asking her questions, then Tim and the girls are asking about this and that, especially if they see a twinge of pain move across my face or witness a tiny, unsteady sway on a walk to or from the bathroom - and then there’s the She Devil who calls everyday seeking an update on my vitals and the sharing of a good laugh or two about stupid shit I say - and then there’s Mom and Marchrie who patiently wait for me to fess up to this or that notable change - and then there’s Donna, Joyce, Jennifer, and Debbie, each of whom long-ago set their soft-peddled requests for truth and honesty - which I gladly give them. I use the ample time I’m given each day to run a laundry list of what’s going on with my physical state because that’s really the be all and end all of necessary information. In other words - in honest words - I’m afraid I’ll be marked for quick removal from my Earthly home just for the offense of bitching. Whenever I have something to bitch about, I clamp my mouth shut out of fear I will be heard - judged - and accused of smiting this bonus time I’ve been given.
The whole self-imposed constraint of ‘don’t complain about anything’ has become a silent mantra and a bit of a cross to bear. Why? Because I fear they could be seen as being a tad unappreciative, or maybe seen as, “Okay, I’m done with the trials and tribulations of cancer so, come and get me.” In fact, I am sooooo reticent to put those words out into the universe, that I push them back and swallow them hard. Why is there a push of angst? Because even though I feel ‘sick and tired of being sick and tired’ - it’s not something I’m comfortable saying, certainly not out loud for anyone else to hear. Because I typed those words my spine is all aflutter with nervous activity. Whenever that thought crosses my mind, it causes a push of the heebie-jeebies - the spine racing shivers that go up, down, and up again - simply because that thought pushes in. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.Think about that statement for a minute. The Good Stuff: If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Vows are more than just words said at your wedding. No, not the viruses in our bloodstreams, but the fruit at our core-love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
It’s the trying times that show what we’re made of. Even if they don’t say so, your spouse likely appreciates it. If you are both sick, grab an extra juice when you head to the fridge. Say “thank you.” Even if your spouse does something minor, make sure to show appreciation.When we feel confined from sickness, we need a little break from other people. Take a nap in the spare bedroom, read a book in the tub. So if one or both of you is under the weather, let me offer a few tips from my failure: When you don’t feel well, emotions run high and anger triumphs over common sense. Sickness is no time to battle it out with your love. So instead of sympathy and love, our words were filled with contempt, and later … regret. Neither one of us could care for ourselves, let alone each other. If absence makes the heart grow fonder, sickness sucks the fondness right out. We glared at each other over the hem of our tissue-strewn blankets and said little to each other after accusations over who drank the remaining orange juice and chose the last movie. Figuratively and literally.įlu-ridden and homebound months after our wedding, I was questioning whether our marriage would make it after all.
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